When Loss Changes You | Russell Geoffrey Banks

You have to be so careful when dealing with people who have lost parents, siblings—God forbid—their own child. Because when someone goes through that magnitude of loss, they can never look at the world the same way again. It's different. Of course it is. They won't tolerate your fake energy. They won't play about peace because they've already lost some of the biggest pieces of themselves. 

 

And once you lose someone so close, you have this shift inside of you. It's never going to be the same again. It just can't be. That day, the person you used to be also left. That person is gone now. And everything is different. Even the way you smile is different because, in your head, you start feeling guilty all of a sudden. And you can't love the same. You can't, because you're so worried about losing someone. 

Even the way you breathe is different because that peace and harmony are gone now. They're gone, and they've been replaced with just sadness. And it just doesn't—no matter how many years go by, no matter what happens—that's not going to change, because grief does not leave. It just morphs into some other shape, which maybe you can deal with a little bit better.

The Curse of Awareness | Russell Geoffrey Banks

The truest words were from Nietzsche, when he said that any man who knows too much, he can't fit in anywhere. And that's the curse of awareness. Once you start to delve underneath the surface, that's when you realize the whole world is not so simple. And you start to see people for who they really are—and their games they're playing, and that fake confidence, all the ulterior motives. And you realize this whole society is built on lies. And people, they're sheep. And once you see that, you can't unsee that.

 

 » What hath happened unto me? How have I freed myself from loathing? Who hath rejuvenated
mine eye? How have I flown to the height where no rabble any longer sit at the wells? «

Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

 

So you try and try to tell people. But they say to you, 'Oh no, no, you're overreacting, you’re crazy.' So, you stop talking. But you're still observing, you're still watching. But you know you don't belong anymore. And it's not because you think you’re too good for anyone. No, no, it's because you've seen too much, you're watching everything, and now you know you can’t go back to how it was anymore. An awareness that isolates you. And it's the price of clarity. Because the crowd says, 'move away.' But then, at least, you know who you are.